Ways To Develop Your Stamina
What you mean by "sexual stamina" will depend on
your personal standards and expectations of lovemaking.
If you're a man, your view of the right level of stamina in bed might be very different to that of the woman with whom you're making love.
For example, most women apparently prefer intercourse to last no more than nine minutes, whereas men think that sexual stamina and ejaculation control means they can go on pounding away for as long as they want to! (Whereas in fact most men ejaculate in a few minutes. According to Medical Daily, 5.4 minutes to be exact.)
So what's the reality of sexual stamina, and if you really are a quick-comer, do you know how to increase stamina in bed so that you can last long enough to satisfy both yourself and your partner?
The Best Way To Increase Bedroom Stamina
To start with, you need to be physically fit. Let's not kid ourselves here: if you're not physically fit, you're not going to be able to run a marathon, nor run a hundred yards, and you might not even be able to walk upstairs quickly.
And you probably won't be able to sustain energetic lovemaking for any length of time.
So from a purely physical point of view, increasing your stamina in bed – at least in terms of physical fitness – requires you to be fit overall, in good condition, with a reasonable level of physical fitness.
know you might say that this won't help you last longer in bed, but
the truth is that if you wish to bring energy and excitement
to lovemaking, let alone stamina and endurance, you need to have
a reasonable level of physical fitness.
And at the same time, I completely agree that if you're talking about controlling your ejaculation, physical fitness is probably lowest on your list of priorities.
If you come (ejaculate) within a couple of minutes of penetration – or perhaps even five minutes – no doubt you want something that will keep you "going" for longer during partnered sex.
You may even have the aspiration of helping your girlfriend or partner or wife to come through vaginal intercourse during lovemaking.
Even if your aspiration is no higher than to be able to make love for five minutes or so before you ejaculate, your intention is an admirable one.
What you need is to know how to increase stamina in bed, by finding some practical ways of controlling the timing of your ejaculation. When you discover how to make love for longer you will become a lover who all women (and men) admire!
Masturbation technique and male stamina
Let's start by looking at how you masturbate. This can have a significant impact on learning how to increase your endurance in bed and last longer during lovemaking.
Obviously masturbation is a very different process to making love to a woman, and it could be that the tightness and lubrication levels you experience during masturbation are preventing you from experiencing the full pleasure of partnered sex.
So you might want to use less pressure, you might want to loosen your grip, and you might want to use more lubrication, so as to make self-pleasuring more similar to the feelings of sex within a vagina.
The point being this: if you are accustomed to masturbating hard and fast with a tight grip, then you will have conditioned yourself to come quickly – and that's what you'll do in all situations, particularly when you are with a woman and you're sexually aroused.
If you can accommodate lower levels of friction, and train yourself to last longer during masturbation, then you can probably last longer during lovemaking.
The bad news, or good news, depending on your point of view, is that to increase your stamina in this way, you're going to have to masturbate daily using a new lighter grip and slower motion for at least a month to significantly enhance your stamina during lovemaking.
Squeeze technique for increasing male sexual endurance
The next way to find to how to increase stamina in bed is to use some kind of behavioral therapy.
We're thinking the "squeeze technique" here.
Now this has acquired a bad name over the years, because Masters and Johnson, who pioneered the squeeze technique, said that they were able to increase the endurance of lovemaking for about 98% of couples in their therapy regime.
Unfortunately this result has not been substantiated or repeated by almost any other therapist in the field of human sexuality since then.
There could be other reasons for this, such as
therapists not using the right technique, or not training people
in the squeeze technique properly, but it could also be that the
squeeze technique just doesn't work to increase a man's
endurance in bed!
So rather than trying squeeze technique which might be an effective, probably doesn't enhance endurance great deal, and can be painful, why not try the stop start technique.
This is a variation of the squeeze technique where you pause during intercourse for long enough to allow your arousal to drop.
Of course you have to time this correctly, so you can effectively increase your stamina in bed during intercourse – if you leave the "pause" in your movement too late, then you may well ejaculate anyway.
So if this is to work, you need to have good awareness of how aroused you are at any point during lovemaking.
You can develop this by
paying attention to the speed with which you approach your
"point of no return" (or
point of ejaculatory inevitability - and by becoming aware of how it feels
when you're doing so as you masturbate.
But regrettably, because the stop-start technique sometimes doesn't work, you may find that knowing how to improve stamina in bed requires you to use the squeeze technique.
What happens here is that you bring yourself near to the point of orgasm then you or your partner squeezes the rim of the glans of your penis from front to back between thumb and forefinger.
If you do this correctly you will find your desire to ejaculate decreases, and your erection softens slightly.
When the squeeze is applied, you wait until
the sensation of orgasmic inevitability goes away, and then
resume lovemaking until the next squeeze becomes necessary.
This means that you really can make love for longer, and you probably will increase stamina in bed naturally: but the unfortunate thing about this, as I've already said, is that the squeeze technique can be uncomfortable, if not painful.
Certainly with care and attention to the process, this can be effective.
Your Partner Is Part Of The Solution
No matter what kind of stamina problem you have in bed, make sure that your partner is involved in finding a solution.
She's the person to whom you're making love, and while you might be very concerned about the duration of your lovemaking and want to effectively get more stamina in bed, your partner may well be the person who needs to help this process.
For example, have you actually discussed your concerns with her, and found out what her expectations of your staying power are?
You may be surprised to find she's quite happy
with the way lovemaking proceeds, and your endurance or stamina
isn't an issue for her at all.
And of course having said that, we recognize that it's men who are mostly concerned with knowing how to increase stamina and being able to control their ejaculation and last longer in bed.
Medical Advice For Premature Ejaculation
So you could consider medical help and advice if you want to know how to increase stamina in bed and last longer with the help of medication.
One way to increase stamina in bed is to use antidepressants "off label".
Antidepressants have an effect on ejaculation – they slow it down (and in some cases stop it happening altogether).
In Europe, Dapoxetine is now licensed under the name of Priligy for ejaculation control.
Unfortunately medications like this do tend to
have some side effects, so you may find it's not the solution
The other point we need to make is that sometimes your dissatisfaction with your staying power or endurance in bed can be dealt with by changing the way you look at both sex and early ejaculation.
Just because you can't last for long time during sexual intercourse doesn't mean that you necessarily have to build bedroom stamina for lovemaking. Ask your partner what she wants to do in bed! Try new things!
There are many different ways of discovering how to increase stamina in bed and so enjoy sexual activity with your partner more. If you explore them you might find that your sex life is better than you ever imagined possible.