What Is Early Climax In Men?
The famous sexologists Masters and Johnson said that if intercourse did not go on long enough for the woman to reach orgasm 50% of the time, then the man had Premature Ejaculation.
But the problem with this definition is that many women never reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.
A totally different approach is to define premature ejaculation as being when a man has no voluntary control over his ejaculation reflex. In other words, he can't stop premature ejaculation.
But there's a problem here, too: some experts say the ejaculation reflex can't be controlled. At most, they say, it's partially under your control, a bit like a sneeze.
I think overcoming premature ejaculation is like breathing - you can control it if you choose to.
However, as far as a definition is concerned, the most important thing is whether the man is ejaculating before he wants to. In other words - can he stop premature ejaculation or not?
This is an important point. Think about this situation.....
A man and a woman make love for an hour by touching, kissing, caressing, enjoying oral sex, and masturbation, during which she or he or both have one or more orgasms. He then penetrates her and comes within one minute because he's so aroused and turned-on. They are both extremely satisfied and happy with their lovemaking.
Now, is that premature ejaculation or not?
Video - ways to stop being premature
Horses For Courses
A man and his partner might think they don't need to overcome premature ejaculation because they are both happy with the way sex happens.
They don't care how long he can thrust inside her vagina before he reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
But, experience tells us that most women do want longer lasting intercourse, at least some of the time.
So just what is the average time between penetration and ejaculation?
A study at the university of Koln has found that the average time from penetration to ejaculation among men who do not consider themselves to have a problem with premature ejaculation is actually only three minutes and one second!
But among men who do think of themselves as having PE, the average time is two minutes thirty two seconds!
Not much difference, really, is there?
So, it really is all about your perception of your sexual performance: premature ejaculation is in the eye of the beholder! What is true, though, is that unless you do something about it, you will always ejaculate faster than you want to......
Why DO Men Come So Fast?
Here's a video on this very question
Is premature ejaculation caused by anxiety? Fear of letting your partner down? Fear of being seen as a sexual let-down? Anxiety about women, anxiety about sex? Fear of intimacy? Relationship issues? Conflict with your partner? Resentment, anger, hostility?
Well, yes, it can be all those things - and more. But this can be dealt with - you need a treatment method that works on several levels, to deal with every aspect of the problem.
And PE can be physical too. Nerve signals from the penis can trigger an over-sensitive nervous system too strongly, too quickly, thereby setting off the ejaculation reflex before it is appropriate.
The best way to stop premature ejaculation in these cases lies in relaxation..... in calming down, in effect reducing the sensitivity of the nervous system so that it can take more stimulation without you ejaculating.
The strange thing is that anxiety - fear, worry, call it what you will - about ejaculating too soon, and so failing as a lover, can actually stimulate your level of nervous system activity so that you are actually more likely to ejaculate even more quickly!
So relaxation, or at least some way to help lower your nervousness, anxiety, and emotional arousal during sex is part of the answer.
There are many strands to this, including being confident about sex and confident around women - and also knowing the right sexual techniques.
Certain sexual positions speed up your ejaculation, since they make your body tense and your muscles overloaded (think of supporting yourself in the man on top position, for example).
Muscular tension can feedback to the nervous system and add even more stimulation to an already overloaded nervous system. This can make you ejaculate even more quickly.
What about masturbation? Is it the way we learn to wank as teenagers that causes PE?
No, apparently not, because men who come quickly and men who do not, all seem to have had pretty much the same experience of masturbation as teenagers.
Of course, biologically speaking, the quick ejaculator would have a survival advantage (less time mating means less time being vulnerable to predators) so it's possible we men are simply fighting against the evolutionary pressure of thousands of generations of quick ejaculating ancestors!
Fortunately, we can develop a very significantly slower ejaculatory response if we choose to do so.
These are the keys to finding the best how to stop premature ejaculation and getting more control in bed:
1 Being able to track your arousal and keep it below the point where ejaculation becomes inevitable. Near the point of ejaculatory inevitability you can lower your arousal by slowing down vaginal thrusting and lessening the stimulation.
2 Developing the skill to know how near you are to ejaculation. That way, you can reduce the stimulation so it's below the point where you will ejaculate.
3 Knowing your body well enough to know how you can stop ejaculation
4 Knowing the right sexual techniques to please a woman but not get over-aroused yourself
5 Being confident in bed
Treatment That Works!
If premature ejaculation is a problem in your sex life, then you may well be looking for an effective method to control your ejaculation, produced by someone who knows what he's talking about, someone who comes with a background in sex therapy, counseling and psychology.
Or you could just look here. Quick, easy, confidential, and works at home - and it will work for you, just as it has worked for thousands of men before you.